Seeing your Ex with someone else

"Background" - Lecrae ft. Andy Mineo

I was inspired to write this because I guess yesterday was #nationalboyfriendday, which I only learned existed via Instagram. And I know for a lot of people who saw pictures were pretty uncomfortable lol I also want to touch basis on this because I know a lot of people are still bitter about their past relationships no matter how hard they want to front that it doesn't phase them. You can't tell me, that you've spent all that time with a person and sacrificed so much and now you completely forgot about them and don't care. Maybe in some cases you want to forgot completely, but if you did see them on the street you'd still react which just goes to show that they still do affect you in someway.

So this post is about what do you do when you see your Ex with someone else. It's normal to feel uncomfortable, awkward, bitter, sad, angry and maybe somewhat violent but here's something to think about. 

For me every time I ran into a girl I've dated (I'm embarrassed to say but I'm going to be real), I've always been really immature. Always wanted to make the girl feel like her boyfriend was whack or that she downgraded. Purposely made the situation uncomfortable because I was uncomfortable. It especially ticked me off if the guys they were with were actually pretty cool guys. After showing my immaturity during the situation, I would always feel bad and end up apologizing. I was always embarrassed by my behavior. If you were there, you'd be embarrassed for me too lol 

But you know what? I got older and started to understand somethings. 

What I want to pass on to you. Think about it. (Random stuff. Take whatever works for you)

-I know you relapse and feel lonely some days, but honestly think about why you guys didn't work out in the first place. (Good idea to write down the pros and cons on a sheet of paper so you get a visible representation) 

-Do you really want to enter into another relationship with emotional baggage. Trust me from my past experiences, the person on the other end will know. They just will feel that reserve from you. 

-Maybe you need to work on yourself. Figure out where your insecurities are coming from and address them. Find your confidence. 

-Don't be bitter and retaliate. Easier said than done, but you look weak and stupid (I have first hand experience to prove it) lol

-Trust God's plan. Maybe he used that relationship for you to learn something. Maybe you aren't ready for the person he chose for you. You're probably still emotionally, financially, and/or spiritually unstable.

-Say to yourself,"Ya we had a good run. Things didn't work out but it's cool. God has someone else planned for me." 

-Be patient! Isn't your soulmate worth the wait. 

-Don't go out clubbing or drinking. I know when you get out of a relationship you'll always have a friend that will pressure you into going out, dating, or drinking to calm you down. Don't listen to them please!! It's imperative! Instead, don't serial date, don't go out (clubs and bars), just BE STILL. A lot of people don't know how to be alone. It's okay to be alone. It's good for you :)

-Take this time to really work on yourself. (Read more, investigate your faith, review your standards, life goals, and the person you ultimately want to be etc.)

-Remember to know your worth. You don't need someone to validate it. God knows how special you are. His is the only opinion that you should really care about. 

-Standards (personally I think everyone needs to be with a person who believes in God and has a relationship with Jesus). Not like a "I go to church every Sunday." More like "I'm trying to learn how to live like Christ." A person who fears God, is anchored by his teachings. A person that genuinely loves Jesus will try to love like Jesus loved. So they'll avoid drama, will love you already how you are, acknowledge your flaws and wants to help you overcome them, is patient, not jealous, not prideful, respectful, faithful, trustworthy and humble (knowing that trying to live a life like Christ is hard but is worth trying). Personally, I want a woman that is described in Proverbs 31. You can use that too lol

-Prepare yourself emotionally, financially, and spiritually for your next relationship. 

-Be the person you want to meet. 

-Get Closure. Try to end on good terms. Forgive. Don't forget because you need that to help you in the areas you want to improve. 

-Don't hate on her/him, new guy/girl and anyone for that matter. Easier said than done but that's what God wants. Do it! (1John 2)

-If you really cared about that person, pray that they're doing okay and that the person they are with currently is treating them right. Let them know that you'll always be there if they need your help. Only if the person they're with now is comfortable with it though. 

-Don't be self-seeking, be self-giving. Be there for them to just be there for them. Not so it'll help your chances with getting back together, but do it because you ultimately care about their future and want them to be happy no matter who they end up with. Personally this mentality helped me a lot. You got to quit being selfish and grow up.
-Don't listen to Slowjams! They'll make you sad. Listen to Christian inspirational, they'll give you a better perspective, I promise. Let me know if you need some artists lol  

-Don't give God a deadline.

THANK GOD for what you do have (supportive family and friends, life, talents etc). Don't make being with someone the ultimate goal and if your not with someone then life is miserable. Again have faith and trust in God's plan for you. 

-Pray about it. Pray for the strength to forgive, to get through hardships, to understand God's plan, to meet the right person, to be the person he made you to be etc.

I really hope this gives you a better perspective. It's definitely not easy, but it's so much easier if you know that God is looking out for you. It's more than a mentality, it's the actual truth. "The human heart plans the way, but the Lord directs the steps." Proverbs16:9
  
                                                   Kari Jobe - "Be Still"