My Standards

In my opinion I think the world (media and our “role models”) has messed us guys up with thinking that real happiness will come when we are able to attract and hold on to a girl that is “beautiful” with regards to the world’s standards. We see all these actresses, musicians and other female celebrities etc. and fantasize about being with a woman that “beautiful.” Some girls believe that they need to be like the girls on the radio, magazines and T.V. so they try and adhere to their images, thinking that they will attract a guy and find happiness with them. But think about it. These celebrities are the most uneasy about their appearance. Their “beauty” can get any person they want but still they have failed relationships, failed marriages, they get plastic surgery to change what they don’t physically like about themselves etc. No matter how beautiful you are today, the truth is, you get old and that outwardly beauty fades. 

We are so programmed that we have these superficial standards and if a girl doesn’t meet these standards we kind of ignore them, rule them out and write them off. It’s really messed up. I don’t want to say that I’m not that guy anymore because I still struggle with it, but I strongly want to break that habit. It’s not cool. I’m not saying that all “beautiful” girls are whack either; I’m just saying we have to try and not superficially pick them out and stay with them.

What I’ve learned is that….

when you see someone you are physically attracted to (which is completely normal) instead of looking lustfully and saying to yourself, “Damn she looks good, I wanted to get with that,” Train yourself to realize that God created that girl for a purpose and not for you to manipulate and do whatever you want to do with her. Even in your thoughts.

I watch a lot of Jason Evert (speaker of Chastity) Youtube videos and in one of his videos he says that when you see a “beautiful” girl, immediately think of being grateful to God and second recite Psalm 84 “How lovely is your dwelling places, O Lord of Hosts.” Our bodies are temples of the spirit, especially hers.

We struggle as men to not think of girls more as just objects for our pleasure. We’ve just been influenced so much to see these women as just a collection of body parts. Ask yourself when you’re out with you boys and talk about your standards, what do they say?

Do they say stuff like, “I like girls with nice lips, legs, hair, pretty eyes, neck, hips, back side, etc.”  Instead of “I like girls that are patient, humble, generous, modest, have dignity, Love God.” I personally don’t here a lot of that.  Just think about it. You wouldn’t want guys looking at your sister, cousin, daughter etc. like that right? Then don’t do it to your fellow brother. Just thank God that he created someone so beautiful. We got to train ourselves fellas! This world is pretty jacked up. We need to set the real example. As far as my standards:

1. Loves God

2. Strives to be Virtuous

3. Physically active. When you see someone that is physically active, they’re most likely goal oriented, know how to manage time, not lazy and confident.

But some of you fellas have unrealistic standards. How do you expect or feel like you deserve a girl that is loving, loyal, patient, honest, etc. when you’re out acting a fool and disrespecting girls left and right with your words, actions and/or thoughts. I doesn’t make sense to me. I was like that though. I said I wanted to be with a virtuous woman but my lifestyle didn’t match up. Deep down you have to change. You can’t be at a club or bar and act a fool, but then out in public or on a date act like a gentleman to these girls. That’s so fake. You have to be genuine throughout. The truth will eventually come out.