Temptation at the Club

So I told my friends that I wasn't really into clubbing anymore or trying to get at girls at the club. Then temptation set it. It was Thursday night, nothing to do so I decided that I'll drive a bunch of us to the club and since I'm driving I'll make sure I don't drink that much, maybe a beer. Harmless right? I specifically told them I was just going to kick it with the fellas tonight and post at the bar. No dancing, not getting drunk, just chop it with the guys. So anyways everyone knows I'm gonna crack. I tell them "I promise, that's not me anymore." Well the night goes on I'm doing pretty good just chilling at the bar. One beer down. Not really feeling anything so when my friend offers me her Redbull Vodka I down it. I was feeling how I used to feel at clubs. Faded. I thought I a handle on things. I wasn't looking to dance with anyone.  I ended seeing this really cute girl, definitely my type, in the crowd, gave her a head nod and a smile, just like a gentleman and helped her get through the crowd. I posted on the wall, we caught eyes again during the night and she straight up pushed her way through the crowd to get to me and started dancing on me. I held myself back but the temptation was overpowering. So things escalated but I knew if I stayed longer I was going to do something I was going to regret. I felt bad because my friend ended up driving me back home.

The guilt of taking advantage of someone, treating her like an object, of lying, of not being in control of your thoughts or body, of being a hypocrite, saying I don't care to God did it for me. I no longer trust myself with shots of alcohol. I thought I could do it but I decided that it's best to leave that alone. I knew I really had to turn my life around.